"Vishwas"

• About Fehmida
• Code
• Peer Support
• Resources
• Spiritual Processes
• Staying Balanced
• Team
• Testimonials

"About Fehmida — Vishwas"

About Fehmida Iyer Visnegarwala

I am an allopathic physician, trained in Stanley Medical College, Chennai, India and then trained in Internal Medicine and Infectious Diseases in the US. I was a HIV researcher well published with a national and international standing for several years based in Houston, Texas, till a research investigation completely changed my life which was like a 'psychological rape', and I then was diagnosed with severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and later Bipolar. I have described this harrowing trauma in my book: The Psychological Rape: A Memoir.

As my career focus and life was changing, I went on to complete my Master's in Public Health from Johns Hopkins University and moved to India and worked as a public health professional at a reputed Public Health Institution in India doing public health research and teaching including work in malnutrition and women empowerment.

Episodes or Mania

I had several episodes of altered states of consciousness or so called mania for which I was hospitalized and medicated several times both in India and the US. Each time, whether I have hit rock bottom socio-occupationally or not, I have always gained spiritually and have experienced states of bliss, joy, and creativity that have enabled me to rally and learn to reinvent myself and go forth. The juxta-position of my scientific background with these deeply spiritual experiences adds a compelling dimension to these altered state of consciousness with my so-called 'manic' highs.

Spiritual Experiences

I have over the last several years have had sublime spiritual experiences including Kundalini Awakening and Out of Body experience. The trauma of the investigation had completely melted my ego and I met my Spiritual Master, i.e., Sadhguru, and have followed his teachings which have been extremely transformative. After a span of five and half years I'm undergoing another state of altered consciousness, wherein I'm remaining stable on medications both allopathic and Ayurvedic and balance of my Gut Microbiome and through psycho-social support. Over the years, though I have been fortunate to have great psychosocial support, I have realized that it has been difficult to convince and garner support from one's near and dear ones that the experiences one is going through are 'spiritual' in nature. My experiences were pathogenized and labeled as madness.

Waking Up

However, with work of Sean Blackwell, with his book "Am I Bipolar or Waking Up" I was introduced to a whole world of internet, and FaceBook based support where I have been able to find acknowledgement that I am not the only one having spiritual processes during my so-called madness. There is a grass-roots movement happening all over the world proclaiming and acknowledging the deeper spiritual and "non-ordinary" dimension of what we call as 'psychosis' or 'mental illness.' This is largely based on a "peer support" movement in the Western World. However, this kind of 'Peer Support' is sorely lacking in India. Therefore, as part of an effort to create a Peer Support group for those undergoing a similar experience as me in India, we are undertaking this project "Vishwas," which was born mainly during this 'non-ordinary' state, and which is my deep conviction that these non-ordinary states of so-called madness will help one blossom into a beautiful human being and also my effort to contribute to the world and remain stable and evolve spiritually.